Best (and Worst) Frontcourts + Memes

If you read our backcourt takes you get the gist. If not, go read that here and then come back here...

Best Offensive Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam & Marc Gasol

All-Time NBA: Julius Erving, Charles Barkley & Moses Malone

I'm going to show The Six some love with this - Siakam and Leonard have been absolutely lethal together all year for the Raptors, Siakam is an absolute beast in the fast break and there's not a single forward in the league who can match his end to end speed except maybe Giannis by pure stride ability. The Klaw is 8th in the league in scoring (27.1) and only 0.8 points back from the 3rd spot, his ability to hit shots and cuts in a system and then step outside that very system and feast on mismatches or lesser defenders is KD-esque and has him leading the Raptors to the 2nd best record in the league. I honestly believe this is the best defensive and offensive frontcourt in the league, of course there are some excellent other choices like Kevin Durant and Draymond Green, but Green is half a step slower than his previous DPOY form and seemingly half as consistent on offense. My other option was Joel Embiid and Tobias Harris but I haven't seen a big enough sample size of BOTH of them together yet, but they bring an inside-outside presence and versatility that no other team in the NBA can match. I'm giving Kawhi and Pascal the pass here and putting them as the best offensive/defensive and therefore best overall frontcourt in the league this season! Lets hope they don't mind getting smashed by my Miami Heat in the first round... (yes that was a take that Miami will jump Brooklyn for the 7th seed...)

For my All-Time pick I've got to go with what should theoretically be a NBA 2K team - Dr J, Sir Charles and Moses were together for only one season but you couldn't have put those three together even if you traded an entire team for them, together they're possibly one of the most original "Big-Three" trios in the league.

Chad

This Season: Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris, Joel Embiid

All-Time NBA: Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish

I'm going to show The Six(ers) some love! Great points made about Toronto and what their literal BIG three are doing this year. Pascal has come into his own and although Gasol hasn’t been there but a handful of weeks he may be the piece that puts them over the top come playoff time. That said, Philly has three franchise caliber scoring options at the 3, 4, and 5 spots. Jimmy is having a “down year” averaging 18.5 points during his tenure with the Sixers but has been a consistent 20PPG scorer his past four seasons including the games he played for Minnesota this year. Tobias is in a similar position, averaging 19 for Philly while over 20 for the season. And then you have the actual #1 option in Joel Embiid who is averaging a whopping 27+ despite having his fellow frontcourt mates pushing 20 and Ben Simmons adding 17.1. That’s a hell of an offensive output and Simmons although technically the point guard could easily be pulled into the frontcourt with his size to make this a four person group that is undoubtedly the best in league in my opinion. Golden State would come close but Draymond holds that group back if we’re talking the offensive side of the ball.

As for the all-timers, I can’t say that Dr. J, Chuck, and Moses aren’t one dynamic selection, but the Doctor was on his decline when Barkley was drafted by Philly and they only had three seasons together as a trio. On the other hand another ‘80s big three played together their entire careers and in 1986-1987 to pick an exceptionally good year, Bird averaged 28.1, McHale 26.1, and Parish 17.5. Aaaaand they won three championships together. If you watch NBA on TNT you’ll know that Chuck is constantly taking jabs from Kenny and Shaq for the fact that he never won a ‘ship. Plus two notes on Larry Bird… One: This wasn’t his highest scoring output of his career; and Two: My dad still says he’s the greatest player of all-time. Dad is always right, right? But jokes aside, I’ve watched classic NBA games of these two squads playing other teams as well as each other and I’d put money on these Celtics any day.

Best Defensive Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam & Marc Gasol

All-Time NBA: Tim Duncan, David Robinson & Sean Elliott

I've already penned Toronto's frontcourt for my best offensively, defensively and overall this season, so we'll skip straight to my All-Time selection. The 1998-99 Spurs frontcourt was ridiculous, you had a sophomore Timmy D averaging 2.5 blocks a game alongside The Admiral himself, David Robinson - averaging 2.4 blocks a game. The Spurs were 1st in the league for defensive rating that year and Sean Elliott played a versatile scoring/defensive role that was vital to their success and ultimately their postseason title run. How many duos do you know that averaged basically 5 blocks between them?! Not many. 20.6 defensive win shares between this trio is enough to convince me that they're the greatest defensive frontcourt in the history of the league.

Chad

This Season: Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam & Marc Gasol

All-Time NBA: Tayshaun Prince, Rasheed Wallace, & Ben Wallace

Gonna leave your choices for this season alone as well. Don’t think there is even an argument to be made for anyone else.

I’m not about to argue that my choice for all-time best defensive backcourt is better than Timmy D, The Admiral, and Sean Elliot but for one season I’ll try to make my case. The 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons were one hell of a defensive squad. Yes, they made “Hack-a-Shaq” famous but that’s a defensive strategy I suppose but despite that they locked down one of the most dynamic duos in NBA history in Shaq and Kobe. And by shut down I don’t mean they kept them from dropping 20+ or even 30+ a game, but they won the title. A team with not a single superstar knocked off The Big Diesel and The Black Mamba in their primes. And I’m not really gonna throw out any statistics here because Kobe and Shaq were still dominant but there is one photo that ultimately was the inspiration for my choice here and it’s this…

Most Athletic Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Jonathan Isaac, Aaron Gordon, Mo Bamba

All-Time NBA: Matt Barnes, Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan

This season the title of bounciest frontcourt has got to go to the Magic, I'm not sure but I think Orlando has invested in spring shoes this season - Aaron Gordon was robbed of the dunk contest title two years ago, Jonathan Isaac is a very poor man's Giannis and Mo Bamba doesn't need any kind of editing to feature in NBA Jam. These guys are bouncy, long and could be SCARY given a few years development.

For All-Time, I've never seen a collection of more insulting dunks than when I rewatch Lob City Clippers highlights, so I've got to give Blake and DJ some love... sorry Matt Barnes but your only contribution to this frontcourt is being listed on the teamsheet. DeAndre basically ended Brandon Knight's career before it ended and Blake has probably dislodged a handful of player's vertebrae pushing off and jamming on their heads. I honestly could have put Dr J, Moses and Barkley here but I'll give it to Lob City for longevity's sake.

Chad

This Season: Brandon Ingram, LeBron James, & Javale McGee

All-Time NBA: Dr. J, Charles Barkley, & Moses Malone

May not be the bounciest considering Aaron Gordon has otherworldly hops, but I like my mini-Showtime frontcourt. They get up and down the floor quick, including McGee at center and they move well without the ball aside from when LeBron takes a nap on the perimeter. Plus they’re strong and quick which are also parts of athleticism. LeBron may be one of the strongest and most physically resilient athletes to ever walk the earth. Ingram for his size and stature is quite strong in his core with the way he’s able to take blows from much bigger guys when attacking the hoop. And McGee while probably the weakest for his size and position makes up for it with sheer bounce and speed. If you keep LBJ healthy and get a legit shooting guard to take the place of KCP this squad is a legit contender in the West.

My all-time squad, I mean come on. We got the grandfather of the dunk, the first ever dunk contest champion, the first ever to jump from the free throw line, and one smooth cat in the air, Dr. J. We got Moses who although didn’t part any seas he most certainly parted rims from backboards. And lastly we have the young bouncy Round Mound of Rebound. At 6’6” (more like 6’5”) Barkley was a sight to behold when he’d get up off the floor not once, not twice, but three or four times trying to get a rebound. The term “bounce” when referring to jumping may have been coined to describe Barkley because watching such a round fella get off the ground so quickly upon landing was nothing else but bouncy. It’s hard to say this group is definitively more athletic than your squad with Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan because we’ve seen what those guys did in their dunk contests but I’d argue that the dunk contest has evolved over the years and that maybe if Dr. J had had the foresight to try some of those things he could’ve done them just as well…and certainly with more finesse and elegance floating through the air.

Best Ever Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam & Marc Gasol

All-Time NBA: Larry Bird, Kevin McHale & Robert Parish

I don't think I really need to justify this one either, Bird won the MVP that season, Parish and McHale were absolute 2-way monsters that season and the Celtics team in 1985-86 is arguably one of the greatest of all time. If Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins had been able to stick together in New Orleans while adding a third star frontcourt player then they could have made this list in 5-6 years time.

Chad

This Season: Kawhi Leonard, Pascal Siakam & Marc Gasol

All-Time NBA: Larry Bird, Kevin McHale & Robert Parish

Amen.

Worst Ever Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Miles Bridges & Bismack Biyombo

All-Time NBA: Corey Maggette, Tyrus Thomas & Bismack Biyombo

Wow, Charlotte is taking a beating right now (Sorry Chad). This season they've had the leagues worst frontcourt easily, when they aren't starting rookie Miles Bridges (who has some nice highlight plays but is still a rookie getting a feel for the game) they're plodding out an aging Nicholas Batum alongside funky-shot Gilchrist and Biyombo - who conveniently is a nice transition for my All-Time worst frontcourt... The Charlotte Bobcats. That team won seven games. Leading to genuine questions as to whether they could compete against NCAA teams. Corey Maggette was a useful player in his prime, but he was 32 and retired two years after this fateful season, Tyrus Thomas was useless despite having an NBA ready frame and Bismack was just a rookie finding his place in the league. Kemba needs to run as far away from Charlotte as possible if this eight year difference produced an equally miserable frontcourt.

Chad

This Season: Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Miles Bridges & Bismack Biyombo

All-Time NBA: Robert Covington, Nerlens Noel, Jahlil Okafor

I’m gonna leave your current pick alone here.

Don’t let the name Robert Covington fool you into thinking, “Wait, that guy is good! He was a solid piece on a contending Philly before he got shipped out.” Covington was just in his second year when these three were teamed up together while “Trusting the process.” Noel was a bust. Okafor…bust. Even averaging 17.5 points for that season, Okafor would fall under Charles Barkley’s accurate claim that anyone can be a star on a bad team. And Okafor just happened to be the number one draft pick that Philly wanted to hand the reigns to. So he got more opportunities than everyone else and therefore put up more points. Simple as that. He’s proven in more recent years how unimportant he is to a contending team. Phill got Embiid and literally just sat Okafor out not even seeing if maybe he could play alongside the big man that is now the personification of The Process.

Meme-worthy Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: LeBron James, Kyle Kuzma & Javale McGee

All-Time NBA: Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett & Glen Davis

Okay, so both my takes here have a theme. Who can you catch on camera at the absolute perfect time to create a meme? LeBron is an absolute meme magnet anyway, so he had to make an appearance some way or another - because his every move is tracked by millions of adoring fans and media members we've seen The King in some pretty hilarious light. Most recently buddying up with AD at the All Star game and most famously when JR bottled the final possession in Game 1 of last years Finals against Golden State. Kyle Kuzma has some hilarious expressions throughout the game that could easily make worth memes and Javale McGee is basically a nightly staple for Shaqtin' a Fool.

For my All-Time I had to go with the Celtics 08 frontcourt - Paul Pierce's famous "did he shit himself?" game will live forever through memes, while Kevin Garnett's "anything is possible" is a goldmine for memes that hasn't been dug into yet - maybe I've started a trend, who knows. Glen Davis has almost as many funny facial expressions as LeBron, so he rounds out my meme-worthy frontcourt of All-Time.

Chad

This Season: LeBron James, Kyle Kuzma & Javale McGee

All-Time NBA: Dennis Rodman, John Salley, & Bill Laimbeer

Once again, gonna leave your current selection as is. But I’m gonna add in that when Lance Stephenson checks into the game this lineup becomes 100% more meme-worthy which is saying A LOT.

These Bad Boy Pistons didn’t have the crazy haired, tattooed Rodman but let’s be honest, if you’re that crazy at some point you were always that crazy. So assuming social media had been around during the 1980s I think Rodman may have blossomed into the most jacked bridal gown wearing man in history several years earlier. Match that with John Salley’s mouth and Bill Laimbeer’s reputation for being the biggest jerk in basketball and you’re bound to find something that’ll go viral like the Jordan or LeBron crying faces.

"Could Survive a Zombie Apocalypse" Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris & Joel Embiid

All-Time NBA: Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol & Dwight Howard

This is another take where there's mostly a singular theme being used. Which one player would absolutely kick a zombies ass? I've got the Sixers frontcourt this season being able to fight off the hordes, Joel Embiid is one bad motherf**ker and is liable to punch a docile zombie just for looking at him funny. Jimmy Butler however would just bully the zombies into submission for being softer than him - not really sure what Tobias Harris brings to the table here other than maybe bait for said-zombies.

The 2012 Lakers frontcourt makes it as my pick to survive the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse - if for no other reason than Ron Artest's elbows. Zombies are usually killed by blows the head right? Just ask James Harden if he thinks this is a good pick... He was on the receiving end of one of those famous elbows and could probably vouch for Metta World Peace being the final survivor - after bribing Dwight with Skittles or something to be zombie bait. Pau Gasol takes on the Tobias role here and probably brings nothing else to the table other than maybe translating any Spanish zombie's growls.

Chad

This Season: Nobody.

All-Time NBA: Karl Malone.

This era is too soft. Steven Adams would be my one choice of maayyybeee he could survive the zombie apocalypse. But ultimately he’s from New Zealand and therefore is unlikely to have an arsenal big enough to fight off hoards of the walking dead.

The Mailman on the other hand is undoubtedly well equipped for this scenario. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a post-apocalyptic bunker built and stashed with supplies and firearms on his Louisiana farm. Malone is one of the toughest guys to ever play the game and got his jacked build from manual labor (and I’m sure a few weight sessions as well). If anyone is prepared to survive it’s him. But I see him being a lone wolf and ultimately leaving his frontcourt mates to live out the apocalypse on his own. And let’s be real, Greg Ostertag wasn’t cut out to survive a zombie attack anyways. He’d just hold The Mailman back.

"Most Likely To Get Hazed Despite Being Seasoned Veterans" Frontcourt

Jake

This Season: Kevin Durant, Draymond Green & DeMarcus Cousins

All-Time NBA: Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol & Dwight Howard

My All-Time pick here was an absolute no brainer, despite being great at surviving against zombies, they are definitely getting hazed - and by "they" I actually mean a singular frontcourt player who's ability to get hazed with 8 years of NBA experience still astounds me to this day. You guessed correctly, that man is Dwight Howard. He was absolutely mercilessly hazed by Kobe during his one year stint with LA - on the court, in practice, to the media... you name it, Dwight was hazed by it and in front of it. It was almost like he was trying to be Shaq, but didn't have the level of dominance to pull of being a joker and a superstar at the same time - especially when Kobe was the alpha-dog and had already gone through the "Shaqxperience" once.

This season was a tough pick again but in the end I had to go with the team that was most likely to have some genuine light-hearted hazing - The Warriors. Kevin Durant has always been quick to bite at media members and I feel like attempt to get a snappy comment from him after every bad game - he hasn't quite mastered the generic answers that most NBA players will turn to when asked a slightly imposing question - so my take is that he's hazed lightly by the media, I'm not sure how far that hazing trickles down into the team because they're likely kissing his ass to get him to stay this summer. Draymond Green is hazed by the referees and Steve Kerr - they've all had enough of his antics (Kerr even supposedly said this during a recent game) and the referees in particular have clamped down on giving him any foul calls, while simultaneously calling more fouls than ever on him. Call it doing their job or hazing him, but something tells me they're lowkey schadenfreude's when calling fouls on him. Finally, I think Boogie is the mostly likely to be hazed this year, he's easily wound up, this isn't his team and GSW know he isn't coming back after this year - so as a beloved teammate, why wouldn't they poke some fun at him? Rather than coddle him like they do with Durant.

Chad

This Season: Kevin Durant, Draymond Green & DeMarcus Cousins

All-Time NBA: Lamar Odom, Chris Mihm, Kwame Brown

First of all, thank you for picking Dwight! No one deserves to be hazed, but if someone did it would be Dwight.

I’m going with the same trio for the current season but for one slightly different reason. Not because all three are likely to be picked on by the media, teammates, opponents, and coaches, but because Mr. Cupcake himself is likely roasted by the other two on the daily. What other frontcourt has one guy who is such a sensitive and easy target and two other guys who are renowned trolls? This is the one and only.

Kobe was still a teammate killer at this point. Odom would’ve been hazed in a somewhat joking manner because I think Kobe genuinely respected his game but probably poked fun at the fact that Odom snacked on candy and junk food allllll the time. And deep down it probably irritated Kobe but surely that was something he was willing to overlook for someone who became a crucial piece in Bryant’s final two ‘ships. The other two however were miserable. Starting bigs averaging 10 and 7 points per game respectively and around 6.5 rebounds per game. There’s no way that was cool with The Black Mamba. Oh, and if you read my backcourt take you’d know that Smush Parker was also my hazing choice. So this was likely a devastatingly miserable team to be apart of all around.